Archive for category Mobile dating

Am I The Only One?

Portrait of unhappy young couple in bedroomYou’ve been dating for a few months now and everything is fantastic. You get along, get each other’s jokes, and the sex is like no other. You’re past the “fling” stage and you know this because you actually care what he/she is doing, regardless if you choose to admit or not. The big “uh-oh” sign is scrolling across your forehead like a Dow Jones stock crawl. Could it be? Yes. You now have feelings; feelings that go beyond the physical aspect. What comes shortly after is the unknown – even scarier. All sorts of questions start flooding your head. And then the ultimate question, that most are afraid to even ask and come face to face with…”Am I the only one?” You begin to wonder if he/she is dating anyone else. Let’s face it, everyone wants to be “the only one” for someone; even the most jaded.

Let’s get real for a second. No one in their right mind will ever simply admit they’re seeing someone else, especially if you have a great thing going. Those that do were never really “into you” the way you wanted them to be “into you.” So how do you know? Here are a few tell-tale signs that require no verbal communication to get the answers you’ve been dying to ask:

Uneasy Access

Alright, this is a pretty standard no-brainer. The unanswered phone calls, unresponsive texts, and deficient email communications are fairly telling. You can never get a hold of him/her when you want to, but if it were the other way around you’d step out of business meeting to take the call.

Terms of Endearment

After dating for a while, it’s not unusual to develop pet names for one another that’s specific to what you two know about each other. “Babe,” “Baby,” “Boo,” “Sweetie” are all too generic. So generic, in fact, that these terms of endearment are acceptably interchangeable with anyone and everyone else. “Stinky Pants” or “Bubble Butt,” on the other hand, are true testaments of a private moment you two have shared…alone.

Fixed Schedule

Are you the “M-W-F” or “T-TH-S” girl/guy? If you’ve established a fixed schedule for your hang-outs together, then there’s definitely something to worry about. While you’re with each other “M-W-F,” he/she could hold a whole other relationship the other days of the week. Mix it up. Be spontaneous. (Just trust me on this one.)

My Place or…My Place Again?

This is fairly straight-forward. I get it. There are some people that make it a big deal to open up their cocoon to someone other than themselves. And for good reason, I’m sure. But after six months of dating, or whatever time frame you deem appropriate, you don’t know so much of the color of his/her sheets, then there’s a problem. Even worse, you’ve already been to his/her place many times before and defiled every piece of furniture in sight and then all of sudden, you’re back at your place and your place only.

Again, these are just a few non-verbal signs of non-exclusivity. Of course, everyone has their own past experiences to develop their own list of signs and red flags. But this should get you started if you have that burning desire to ask the question. So to answer “Am I the only one?” you already know the answer. The rest is up to you to do something or nothing about it. Either way, protect yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally.

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“PhoneShag Nominated for Dating Program of the Year”

Congratulations to PhoneShag for this great nomination at XBIZ!!

Click here to read the article by the incomparable Jason X.

xbiz

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“Hi there, you must [NOT] be…”

You’ve been exchanging on-line messages and sending flirty texts for a few days or weeks now and decided that neither of you are creepy. You’re ready to take this off the interwebs and into a first date. The meeting day arrives and you’re spending all day primping and prepping with nothing but the image in the profile pic of your date ingrained in your head…

His Profile Pic: Shirt off, rock solid abs, pumped muscles, and cool hair. (A tool if you ask me, but whatever.)

Her Profile Pic: Bikini babe, sipping on a fruity drink, with over-sized sunglasses, long flowy Kate Hudson hair and shiny lip-gloss you can’t wait to suck off her face to guess the flavor. (Typical.)

You arrive at the meeting place and greet each other with nothing but a mouth slightly opened and raised eyebrow kind of silence. Turns out he’s almost bald, she’s got a lazy eye and both have a few spare tires growing around the middle area. [Tip for Her: Spanks/Tip for Him: Sorry Dude.]

Why did this happen? More likely than not, they did one of the following when selecting their online profile pic:

1. Chose an out-dated photo of what they used to look like.
2. Took an image of their best feature or body part. (ahem….)
3. Ran a Google image search by entering “Hot Guy/Girl.”
4. Stole an untagged pic in one of their hot Facebook friend’s profiles and cropped themselves out. (Sad, but I know a few that have done this.)

Forget all that! Be honest. Keep your profile pic fresh and updated. You never know, someone may adore your lazy eye or naked head. There’s always someone for everyone!

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Top 5 tips for more mobile dating success

Here is a summary of some of the best tips for getting more dates with mobile dating. If you have any more tips please go ahead and add them to the comments. Good luck out there!

1. Don’t be blah
Who doesn’t like going out with friends and going to the movies? The fact is that 90% of people like going out with friends and going to the movies. So when you say something that fits the profile of 90% of human beings, you may as well not say anything.

Think of your profile as an investment and take some time to think about what makes you interesting. If you need to take some time to think about it, no problem. There’s no long term harm in putting what comes to mind first of all and improving your profile over time.

That’s the beauty of online dating services like free mobile dating services like PhoneFling, you can keep making your profile more attractive all the time, without spending a single cent.

2. Add the right photo
If you don’t have a photo on your profile, you get a tiny percentage of interest compared to what you could get with a simple photo. If you don’t have a photo, most people will assume you have something to hide. And potential dates won’t want to get involved if they think they might be in for a nasty surprise.

I can guarantee you that even if you’re not so confident in your looks, you will get more interest if you put a photo up there. Few people have film-star looks, so don’t be your own worst critic and get the photo up!

Your photo does not have to be staged or professional. In fact, you are more likely to get more interest if you go for a more natural photo. A real photo of you having fun with friends and a genuine smile will get you a long way.

3. Narrow your focus
If you’re like most people, you would prefer less of the right sort of partners, rather than more of the wrong sort of person. Right?

You can help get more of the right people by saying exactly what type of person you are looking for. If you want someone who’s under 30, say so. You’re a guy who likes petite women, say so. You’re a gal who likes tall men or well-built men, say so.

The more specific you are, the more likely you are to find the right person (or people).

It is surprising just how many people don’t spell out what they are looking for. You know your own tastes, so let the singles out there self-select and get in touch when they’re confident that they fit the bill…

4. Give more information
You want people to be attracted to the real you. So give your potential partners the chance to get to know you. That means giving more, not less information about yourself. Don’t think that you have to write an essay about yourself, but don’t leave people with just a few scraps about yourself either.

The best profiles leave you with a really good feel for who the person is. So if someone gets in touch because they find the real you attractive, then everyone wins.

5. Log in regularly
If people see that you were last logged in two months ago, potential partners will naturally assume that you’re not in the game any more. Partners understand that people get busy and maxed out, but leave it more than 2-3 weeks and you’re on the cusp of being worth a shot or not.

Now over to you…

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Tips for more dates with mobile dating: log-in regularly!

A short post here, but an important tip…

If people see that you were last logged in two months ago, potential partners will naturally assume that you’re not in the game any more.  Partners understand that people get busy and maxed out, but leave it more than 2-3 weeks and you’re on the cusp of being worth a shot or not.

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Tips for more dates with mobile dating: More information

You want people to be attracted to the real you.  So give your potential partners the chance to get to know you.  That means giving more, not less information about yourself.  Don’t think that you have to write an essay about yourself, but don’t leave people with just a few scraps about yourself either.

The best profiles leave you with a really good feel for who the person is.  So if someone gets in touch because they find the real you attractive, then everyone wins.

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Tips for more dates with mobile dating: Narrow your focus

If you’re like most people, you would prefer less of the right sort of partners, rather than more of the wrong sort of person.  Right?

You can help get more of the right people by saying exactly what type of person you are looking for.  If you want someone who’s under 30, say so.  You’re a guy who likes petite women, say so.  You’re a gal who likes tall men or well-built men, say so.

The more specific you are, the more likely you are to find the right person (or people).

It is surprising just how many people don’t spell out what they are looking for.  You know your own tastes, so let the singles out there self-select and get in touch when they’re confident that they fit the bill…

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Tips for more dates with mobile dating: Photos

If you don’t have a photo on your profile, you get a tiny percentage of interest compared to what you could get with a simple photo.  If you don’t have a photo, most people will assume you have something to hide.  And potential dates won’t want to get involved if they think they might be in for a nasty surprise.

I can guarantee you that even if you’re not so confident in your looks, you will get more interest if you put a photo up there.  Few people have film-star looks, so don’t be your own worst critic and get the photo up!

Your photo does not have to be staged or professional.  In fact, you are more likely to get more interest if you go for a more natural photo.  A real photo of you having fun with friends and a genuine smile will get you a long way.

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Tips for more dates with mobile dating: Don’t be blah

Who doesn’t like going out with friends and going to the movies?  The fact is that 90% of people like going out with friends and going to the movies.  So when you say something that fits the profile of 90% of human beings, you may as well not say anything.

Think of your profile as an investment and take some time to think about what makes you interesting.  If you need to take some time to think about it, no problem.  There’s no long term harm in putting what comes to mind first of all and improving your profile over time.

That’s the beauty of online dating services like free mobile dating services like PhoneFling, you can keep making your profile more attractive all the time, without spending a single cent.

More tomorrow…

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Has dating changed in our social media world?

I wanted to let you know about something that we’ve got brewing here at PhoneFling.  We’re working on a large-scale research project to work out how people’s online flirting and dating behavior has changed in this ultra-connected world.

We’re building on some of the good work that other organizations have done in this area in the past.  Of particular note is the Pew Research Center who published some excellent research on online dating habits in the past.  Unfortunately, the last time the research was refreshed was in 2006, so the information has already fallen behind reality.

The good news is that we are taking a pro-active approach and we will have some interesting results to share before too long.  If you want to get involved in the survey, here’s the link to the online survey. Read the rest of this entry »

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