With the recent hums of Brad and Angelina’s talks of a potential split, due to the introduction of an “open” relationship, it made me wonder. Is there such a thing? And could it actually work?

According to the ever-knowing online wiki, “an open relationship is a relationship in which the participants are free to have emotional, spiritual and/or physical relationships with other partners, often within mutually agreed limits. If a couple in an open relationship is married, it can be called an open marriage.”

Really? Let me dissect this definition a bit.

“…participants are free to have emotional, spiritual and/or physical relationships with other partners.” Ok, I get the “physical” aspect of it, but I don’t understand the “emotional” or “spiritual” arms of that statement. Why on earth would anyone be in a relationship if they haven’t attained an emotional or spiritual level with that person? That’s all that’s left in relationship outside of the sex part. Call it what it is– a “hook-up.”

“…within mutually agreed limits” translates to rules. Based on a few online publications I found on this topic, all shared a first and foremost  fundamental rule on open relationships: Communicate and be open to sharing your experiences. Are you f***ing kidding me with this? First of all, if you’re not already communicating with one another, you’re wasting your time. And secondly, I highly doubt any man  would sit through dinner where standard table conversation would be how I got rammed in the back door by a stallion. No thank you.

Here are a few other rules I found in a single online publication on open relationships:

• Always practice safe sex outside the relationship.
• No sex with mutual friends.
• Sexual encounters must not interfere with the couple’s customary or planned time together.
• Sex is permissible only when one partner is out of town.
• Outside sex is only allowed with advance agreement with one’s lover.
• Outside sex is allowed only when both partners participate.
• Outside sex is never permitted at home.
• Sex is permitted at home, but not in the bedroom.
  [Read more]

Aren’t relationships complicated enough without rules? Rules are what kills most relationships.

“If a couple in an open relationship is married, it can be called an open marriage.” Then why the hell did you get married in the first place? It would be more understandable if this was “green card” situation. Chances are, it’s not. Not in this context. Add kids to the mix and the entire family are prime candidates for a series of daytime talk shows.

Apparently, there is such a thing as open relationships, based on the wealth of online content out there on this very topic. Could it work? I don’t see how, looking at all of the rules in play. I’m no dating or relationships expert, but I’ve got a pretty good handle on common sense.

What about you?