It’s that time of the year again where all the hos and sluts of the world are summoned to come out of hiding. You guessed it! It’s Halloween! Here in Hollywood, it’s a Ho Festival. Forget all the traditional costumes of yesteryear ladies and be a ho like every other girl. The moon has issued you your slut license for the evening, so work it!

The men will be on the prowl that evening and ready to hunt. But if they have to choose between 100 French Maids, 200 Sexy Cops, 300 Fairies, or a thousand Naughty School Girls, what are your chances of being picked? Think about it. Here are a few ideas to make you a “stand-out” ho this Halloween:

Guess what's in my basket?

Little Red Riding Ho – Carry a basket filled with condoms, lollipops and Advil.

Little Miss Eat My Muffet – Carry a bowl with a variety of flavored body oils or lubes. Smear it over exposed body parts.

Tinkerslut or Princess Fairy – Instead of a wand, bedazzle a whip or a paddle and dress it up with fancy lace and ribbon strands.

Naughty School Girl – Every guy loves a girl in pig-tails. However, you’re supposed to be a “naughty” school girl. Why not replace the pig-tails with a post-bed-rocked hair-do? That should bring out the “knotty” in your outfit.

If all else fails, wear a service sign around your neck, complete with price points:

• Conversation = 0.99c per minute
• Dance = $2.00 per song (add $20 for lap dance)
• Ankle Grab = $10.00
• Face Slap = FREE!

You get the idea. Now re-think that slutty costume and make yourself stand out! Be a stand-out ho!