Am I The Only One?
Posted by Tech Babe in Dating tips, Dating trends, Latest, Mobile dating on May 1, 2010
You’ve been dating for a few months now and everything is fantastic. You get along, get each other’s jokes, and the sex is like no other. You’re past the “fling” stage and you know this because you actually care what he/she is doing, regardless if you choose to admit or not. The big “uh-oh” sign is scrolling across your forehead like a Dow Jones stock crawl. Could it be? Yes. You now have feelings; feelings that go beyond the physical aspect. What comes shortly after is the unknown – even scarier. All sorts of questions start flooding your head. And then the ultimate question, that most are afraid to even ask and come face to face with…”Am I the only one?” You begin to wonder if he/she is dating anyone else. Let’s face it, everyone wants to be “the only one” for someone; even the most jaded.
Let’s get real for a second. No one in their right mind will ever simply admit they’re seeing someone else, especially if you have a great thing going. Those that do were never really “into you” the way you wanted them to be “into you.” So how do you know? Here are a few tell-tale signs that require no verbal communication to get the answers you’ve been dying to ask:
Uneasy Access
Alright, this is a pretty standard no-brainer. The unanswered phone calls, unresponsive texts, and deficient email communications are fairly telling. You can never get a hold of him/her when you want to, but if it were the other way around you’d step out of business meeting to take the call.
Terms of Endearment
After dating for a while, it’s not unusual to develop pet names for one another that’s specific to what you two know about each other. “Babe,” “Baby,” “Boo,” “Sweetie” are all too generic. So generic, in fact, that these terms of endearment are acceptably interchangeable with anyone and everyone else. “Stinky Pants” or “Bubble Butt,” on the other hand, are true testaments of a private moment you two have shared…alone.
Fixed Schedule
Are you the “M-W-F” or “T-TH-S” girl/guy? If you’ve established a fixed schedule for your hang-outs together, then there’s definitely something to worry about. While you’re with each other “M-W-F,” he/she could hold a whole other relationship the other days of the week. Mix it up. Be spontaneous. (Just trust me on this one.)
My Place or…My Place Again?
This is fairly straight-forward. I get it. There are some people that make it a big deal to open up their cocoon to someone other than themselves. And for good reason, I’m sure. But after six months of dating, or whatever time frame you deem appropriate, you don’t know so much of the color of his/her sheets, then there’s a problem. Even worse, you’ve already been to his/her place many times before and defiled every piece of furniture in sight and then all of sudden, you’re back at your place and your place only.
Again, these are just a few non-verbal signs of non-exclusivity. Of course, everyone has their own past experiences to develop their own list of signs and red flags. But this should get you started if you have that burning desire to ask the question. So to answer “Am I the only one?” you already know the answer. The rest is up to you to do something or nothing about it. Either way, protect yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally.
How to Get Out of the Friend Zone
Posted by Jason X in Dating tips, Dating trends, Featured articles, Latest on April 29, 2010
The Friend Zone is a horrible place to find yourself when you’re attracted to a woman who has decided to put you there. And you’re not a real friend, because real friends can easily turn
their “friendly” relationship into Friends with Benefits. The only one who benefits here is her. Because you’ll listen to her sob stories about the men she does actually want to hook up with and you’ll do things for her because you think being nice to her and becoming her personal slave will get you in her pants. But it won’t. Stop and start the following items listed below and you’ll get out of the Friend Zone and get onto the real deal.
Stop
- Washing her back in the shower. These women not only like using you for menial tasks they don’t want to do themselves, but they really enjoy torturing you too. As tempting as it is to hop in the shower with her and her beautiful naked body, don’t do it anymore. Remember: she’s not inviting you in for sex, she’s just being a sadistic tease.
- Painting her toenails. At this point, you might as well just put on a skirt and hang up your balls, because you’re not only a “friend” but you’re now also a female. Stop immediately and let her go pay for a pedicure.
- Picking up beer and tampons at the store before coming over to hang out. Just tell her you’re out of cash. Women love men with money because of their money. But women love losers with no money because of their starving artist passion. If you’re not an artist, become one.
- Giving her advice about her problems with guys. Stop being understanding. Tell her to go cry to her mama, you’ve got better things to do.
- Complimenting her. Remember the guy she complains to you about who never compliments her and treats her like crap? That’s who she’s sleeping with. I’m not saying be like that guy; I’m saying the nice, sensitive guy you’re being isn’t working. So stop with the compliments.
- Kissing her ass. I’m not talking about the way you’d like to kiss her ass; I’m talking about agreeing with everything she says. She’s not always right. Have an opinion, cause some debate, get on her nerves. That’s what real men do.
Start
- Hooking up with other women. Yeah, I know you’re in love with this girl, but she’s not yours yet and you won’t get her by sitting around and looking like a pathetic loser other women aren’t interested in hooking up with either. This is good for both you and her. It shows her you don’t need her and… You don’t need her.
- Being sexual. Not to her, but in front of her. Talk to her about sex with other girls, point out women you think are attractive, bring up sexual situations and get her opinion. She wants to start talking about her guy problems? Start talking about your girl problems. The new girl you met wants to have sex all the time, in public places, in trees, etc. and you’re not sure you’re that into her. Now you start becoming a sexual person. Maybe not as a possibility for her yet, but you’re someone who gets laid. It’s a new ball game.
- Becoming unavailable. She calls, don’t answer. Let it go to voice mail. Then don’t call her back for hours, maybe even let it go a whole day. Not every time, but make it clear you’re not at her beckon call. And stop calling her all the time. And when you do talk, limit the phone time. Remember, you’ve got better things to do.
- Saying “No” to her. She wants to watch “The Ugly Truth” on DVD, you say no and tell her you’re in the mood for a slasher like “Saw VI”. You don’t want her too engaged anyway; you want her scared and grossed out so that she touches you and buries her head in your lap. Say no to other things too. Tell her what you want to do. Be manly.
- Using her as your wingman. You’ve only been talking about other girls; now you’re going to use her to actually get other girls. That’s what real friends do, right? If she’s seeing you differently at this point, and she should be, this will drive her nuts.
The idea behind stopping and starting these things is to position yourself as something more than a friend. You want to become a sexual possibility for her. Once you’ve put all these changes into play, you should expect sexual tension to be on the rise, and you may even get a confession from her that she might want to be more than just friends. That is something you never confess; let her take that step. If none of this works, there’s just no turning her and you should just walk away at that point. The good thing is, you’ll be seeing other women so it shouldn’t leave a huge void in your life. And don’t ever allow yourself to get in the Friend Zone again.
5 Dating Tips for Shy Guys
Posted by Jason X in Dating tips, Featured articles, Latest on April 19, 2010
Don’t listen to anyone who says women love shy guys. They might for a minute or two, then they quickly get bored with it and move on. If you’re a shy guy and tired of that happening to
you, it’s time to get out of your comfort zone and at least appear more confident so that you can score a second date.
Here are five tips on achieving success as a shy guy:
1. Relax
There are lots of ways to relax, but here’s what works best for a date:
- Alcohol – like a shot of Irish Whiskey before you meet her. Not too much, nothing noticeable. Just enough to set you at ease. If you don’t drink, maybe you should start.
- Something cold, down your pants – you think you’re nervous now? Take a cold can of Coke and put it down your pants. Now that’s tension. Leave it there as long as you can stand, then pull it out. Watch your relaxation jump 10 notches. Do it right before you meet her if you have to.
- A Thai massage – This works best when your date is actually Thai and is willing to fondle you within the first few minutes of the date.
- Location – pick a familiar locale; somewhere you feel comfortable. Don’t pick a place a lot of confident men frequent. You come back from the bathroom and she might be gone.
2. Don’t ask permission
Don’t ask if it’s okay if you can go to the bathroom. She’s not your mommy. And what’s she going to say? No, piss your pants? You’ve got to project confidence and constantly asking permission to do little things projects insecurity. And don’t ask for permission to kiss her at the end of the night either. You should know whether or not she wants to be kissed by then anyway. If you don’t, the best way to find out is to put your left hand on her hip as you say good-night. If she wants to kiss you, she’ll immediately take her left hand and put it behind your neck. Now all you have to do is kiss her. If she doesn’t make that move, remove your hand and be on your way. You have to make the first move and the hand to the hip is the best way to avoid outright rejection–like going right for the lips when she doesn’t want it.
3. Don’t ramble
Nervous rambling is going to be a huge turn-off. You already put the cold can of Coke down your pants, so relax and let her do the talking. I know you feel the pressure to say something clever, but don’t forget: women love to talk. Come on girls, you know it’s true. So let her talk by prompting her with a few simple questions.
- Where are you from?
- Where did you go to school?
- What color are your panties?
Okay, maybe not that last one. At least, not until both of you have had a little more alcohol. But you get the point. Simple questions and then let her run with the answers. In addition, the focus is on her and not yourself (women like that too).
4. Plan your topics
There’s nothing wrong with scripting your topics of conversation beforehand so that you don’t hit a big lull. Leave out sports and Star Wars unless she brings them up (which she won’t). Here are a few examples:
- Movies – but remember, let her tell you what she likes before you bring up anything. Everyone loves movies and it usually prompts some good conversation.
- Alcohol – find out what she likes to drink and keep feeding it to her. If she’s a drinker, you’ll get some good drinking stories and maybe find out just how wild she potentially could be.
- What she likes about men – so she’ll tell you exactly what she does and doesn’t like in a man. Which will also set you at ease because she’s just given you all the answers to the test. But if she says she likes “nice guys”, don’t believe her. That’s a lie. So don’t be too nice. It’ll backfire.
- What she does for fun – this will also help you decide whether you want to go out with her again. For example, some people really like the outdoors. If you aren’t a big fan and she is, that means a lot of hiking, biking, and volleyball for you all of a sudden. Not only a good topic of conversation, but critical information to have.
5. Eye contact
Make sure you look this girl in the eyes. Don’t look at the floor or around the room; look into her eyes. That’s what being confident is. And also, you should let her catch you looking at her breasts at least once. Don’t stare at them, just give them a glance. Remember, you are a guy and she needs to know you’re a guy. Real guys look at breasts; nice guys don’t.
5 Horrifying Ways to Ditch Your Date
Posted by Jason X in Dating tips, Dating trends, Featured articles, Latest on March 31, 2010
You’re on a date and it’s turned out to be a huge mistake. Some people are prepared for this and have prepped a friend to call midway. If the date’s going well, you ignore the call. If it’s going poorly, you answer, pretend it’s an emergency and cut the date short. But these days, you’re not fooling anyone with that ploy. So if you want to spare your date’s feelings and ego, you’re going to have to get a little more creative. Below are 10 horrifying, but plausible excuses for cutting the date short. I use the word “plausible” loosely. It really depends on your delivery… 
1. Zombie Apocalypse
You’re at a restaurant with your date, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. When you return, hold your arm and pant like you’ve just been in some sort of struggle. Announce the Zombie Apocalypse is upon us and a zombie just took a chunk out of your arm. Everyone knows ZA is a reality, it’s just a matter of time. So when your date goes sour, the time is now. Explain to your date that you’re not sure if it’s a Dawn of the Dead ZA or a 28 Days Later ZA. A DDZA means you won’t turn into a flesh eating zombie for a while. But if it’s a 28DLZA, you’ll turn almost immediately. In a desperate tone, say Don’t take any chances. Run! The downside here is that you’re left with the tab. Alternatively, you can tell your date that you’re going to quickly run to the gun store so that you can blow your own brains out. Don’t forget to thank your date for a nice time.
2. The Wolfman
Same scenario as #1, but when you return from the bathroom, pretend the water you splashed on your face is sweat and confess you were bitten by a strange wolf the other night when you were hiking in the mountains alone in the dark. Start to shake like you’re turning into the Wolfman. Grow fingernails and hair, if you can. But make your date believe you’re a blood-thirsty wolf. Don’t make the mistake of saying you’re a vampire. Both chicks and guys love vampires for some reason. With all the movies and television shows today that glorify being a vamp or bitten by one, you’ll defeat your own purpose. Put a stake in that idea immediately.
3. Murder
Use the phone call you get from your friend to let your date know that your doctor just called. It was just confirmed that you have 24 hours to live because someone murdered you. Well, with poison that takes 24 hours to kill you. Oh, and there’s no antidote, just like in DOA. So you have to quickly retrace your steps to solve your own murder. Everyone is a suspect, including your date. Eye him or her suspiciously then run out of there yelling, There’s no time to lose!
4. Psychosis
This one is pretty simple. Once you realize your date’s a dud, start quoting Norman from Psycho: You eat like a bird. But -I-I don’t really know anything about birds. My hobby is stuffing things… That should get the ball rolling. Then start talking about your relationship with your mother. Obviously, this works best for guys. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. If that’s not enough, start speaking as if you are your mother: Go on, go tell her she’ll not be appeasing her ugly appetite with MY food… or my son! Or do I have tell her because you don’t have the guts! Huh, boy? You have the guts, boy? At that point, she’ll make her own excuse and cut the date short.
5. Hell and the Devil
Tell her the funny thing that happened to you today; how you accidentally knocked an old gypsy woman into the mud and she cursed you to hell. Check your watch, because apparently in the next half hour the devil will Drag Me to Hell. Of course, anyone around you will be dragged to hell along with you. If that’s not enough, switch to Exorcist mode and talk like Linda Blair. If possible, do a complete 360 with your head and projectile vomit pea soup. That always seems to be the clencher.
If you’re not going to be straight up with your date when things go south, at least have the courtesy of being creative. Sometimes the most outlandish excuses are the most believable. Because, who would seriously use these excuses if they weren’t true?
Top Mood Killers in the Boudoir
You’ve got the date locked and you’re on it. It’s going great. The attraction level is intense and you can’t help but think where it’s going to end up, “his place or mine.” Pack the dessert up for sensual teasing body part licking games for later and get to a bedroom!
You arrive at your destination and the make out session is hot and heavy. Articles of clothing become scattered throughout the house as you make your way down the hall and into the bedroom. You’re there; lips are still locked and you can’t help but notice a dirty dish on the nightstand next to the bed you’re getting ready to roll around in. Even worse, looks like an unfinished bowl of day old oatmeal.And just like that–MOOD KILLER!
There are definitely varying degrees of mood killers in the boudoir for him and her. Here are a few you definitely want to take notes on to secure a passionate tango between the sheets:
Having a picture of an ex in full view
This applies to both sexes; moreso for her. No woman wants to see a picture of another chick in the bedroom. Granted, it might not stop her from having sex with you but you’re guaranteed to be questioned after the deed is done (if you get there).
“Who let the dogs in?!”
Ok, I know, I know. It’s just a dog. The problem here, is most dogs are protective of their owners. The moaning and groaning coming from the bed could be easily be misinterpreted by your best friend as a cry for help. Now you’re competing for bed space and getting barked at by another bitch in bed. Keep the pets out of the room.
Romper Room
While a romp is indeed what you’re going for, no man or woman wants to get down and dirty in a twin or day bed. To really kill it, HE has posters of hot air-brushed chicks and SHE has an entire room of Hello Kitty pink linens and plush toys. How old are you again? It’s time to get a big boy bed and say “goodbye kitty” and have a beanie baby bon fire.
Follow the “bed” crumbs
Clean sheets. Enough said. (No one wants to wake up with a cheeto up their ass.)
“Please leave a message after the tone…”
It’s heating up and you’ve exchanged positions at least three times now. House phone rings. Ignored and onto position change number four. Then the dreaded answering machine comes on. She’s about to explode when “Hello? Are you there? Pick up if you’re there. This is your mother calling” blurts out from the box next to the bed. FAIL. So close but thanks for playing. Keep your answering machine off and silence your phones–all of them.
I’m sure there’s plenty more but these are just the basics in the event your common sense lapses.
Please feel free to share some of your mood killers here. In the meantime, happy flinging!
Better Late Than Never?
Posted by Tech Babe in Dating tips, Featured articles, Latest on February 20, 2010
…or is it? Forget the 24-hour coverage of the Winter Olympics. Yesterday’s worldwide top news story was Tiger Woods’ public apology for cheating on his wife–repeatedly. While many could care less, this was a huge ordeal! Could you imagine having the whole world tune in to your admittance of guilt and promising change and recovery? Yeah, I didn’t think so. It would be mortifying! This is soooooo a modern day “scarlet letter” classic! But did Tiger’s apology come too late? I mean, come on. It’s been about two months since the story broke and he became the new poster child for the show Cheaters. Does the old cliche “better late than never” apply here? Is there still hope?
For Tiger, we all get that he had a lot to lose. And being a public figure requires a formal statement, which is probably part of the reason why it took so long. But for the rest of us, or most of us, waiting this long would be too late, let alone accepting the apology at all. Why? Because the idea of “trust” is completely thrown out the window. Trust is one of the fundamental foundation blocks to any relationship. Regardless if one chooses to accept the apology and forgive, that’s a tough comeback! While there are a multitude of layers of trust, this wasn’t an “I spent the money on a new pair of shoes instead of paying the cable bill,” type of situation. This was an “all you can eat assorted sushi Tiger roll” type of situation. How do you come back from that? While Tiger’s wife, Elin, is willing to support his path to recovery, do you really think she’ll ever trust him again? She had it right when she stated “[his] apology will not come in the form of words, but will come in the form of action and [his] behavior.” That still doesn’t answer the question though.
In most matters of infidelity, apologies are nothing more than an ask for another chance. This, of course, is a slippery slope if the chance is granted. “I’ll give you another a chance. But that means I get the passwords to your email and voice mail, you have to be home by 6:30PM everyday, have lunch with me everyday, and call me every hour on the hour.” What idiot would accept those terms? (I could actually name a few, but I won’t.)
Apologies can also be a closing statements to end the relationship all together. “Sorry, I f’d up. Didn’t mean to hurt you…but I refuse to give you my email and voice mail password, have no idea what time I’ll get home everyday, can’t take you to lunch with me daily, and will most likely forget to call you every hour on the hour.” I’d say this is a much more honest and sincere apology.
To each his own, I guess.
Good luck Tiger! Hope to see you back in full schwing! (I meant “swing.” Full Swing!)
“Brangelina” – Open for Business?
Posted by Tech Babe in Dating tips, Dating trends, Featured articles, Latest on January 25, 2010
With the recent hums of Brad and Angelina’s talks of a potential split, due to the introduction of an “open” relationship, it made me wonder. Is there such a thing? And could it actually work?
According to the ever-knowing online wiki, “an open relationship is a relationship in which the participants are free to have emotional, spiritual and/or physical relationships with other partners, often within mutually agreed limits. If a couple in an open relationship is married, it can be called an open marriage.”
Really? Let me dissect this definition a bit.
“…participants are free to have emotional, spiritual and/or physical relationships with other partners.” Ok, I get the “physical” aspect of it, but I don’t understand the “emotional” or “spiritual” arms of that statement. Why on earth would anyone be in a relationship if they haven’t attained an emotional or spiritual level with that person? That’s all that’s left in relationship outside of the sex part. Call it what it is– a “hook-up.”
“…within mutually agreed limits” translates to rules. Based on a few online publications I found on this topic, all shared a first and foremost fundamental rule on open relationships: Communicate and be open to sharing your experiences. Are you f***ing kidding me with this? First of all, if you’re not already communicating with one another, you’re wasting your time. And secondly, I highly doubt any man would sit through dinner where standard table conversation would be how I got rammed in the back door by a stallion. No thank you.
Here are a few other rules I found in a single online publication on open relationships:
- Always practice safe sex outside the relationship.
- No sex with mutual friends.
- Sexual encounters must not interfere with the couple’s customary or planned time together.
- Sex is permissible only when one partner is out of town.
- Outside sex is only allowed with advance agreement with one’s lover.
- Outside sex is allowed only when both partners participate.
- Outside sex is never permitted at home.
- Sex is permitted at home, but not in the bedroom.
[Read more]
Aren’t relationships complicated enough without rules? Rules are what kills most relationships.
“If a couple in an open relationship is married, it can be called an open marriage.” Then why the hell did you get married in the first place? It would be more understandable if this was “green card” situation. Chances are, it’s not. Not in this context. Add kids to the mix and the entire family are prime candidates for a series of daytime talk shows.
Apparently, there is such a thing as open relationships, based on the wealth of online content out there on this very topic. Could it work? I don’t see how, looking at all of the rules in play. I’m no dating or relationships expert, but I’ve got a pretty good handle on common sense.
What about you?
The Jersey Shore Appeal
Posted by Tech Babe in Dating trends, Featured articles, Latest on January 15, 2010
What is it with those guys at the Jersey Shore? If there’s anything we can all take away from it, it’s the lines! Oh the lines! It’s reality entertainment at its best. What’s even more entertaining is, the lines these guys run and the attitudes they carry when they’re out “creepin’” actually work! Really?
“She ditched a zero and went for a hero.”
Mike, aka, “The Situation”, doesn’t seem to have a problem in the hook-up arena. Why? Let’s break it down. He’s self righteous, pompous, a major douche, and lives by the “GTL” credo (gym, tan, and laundry). The appeal? Confidence. Let’s face it, chicks dig assholes with confidence even though they refuse to believe so. Now that’s not 100% full proof, but a chick can at least mess around with an asshole for momentary fun.
“Girls love a DJ, so once they see me behind the wheels of steel over there, doing my thing… watch out.”
Pauly D is The Situation’s wingman which doesn’t always work out in his favor. He’s had to take more than one for the team. While he’s all about hooking up with chicks too, he’s not so obvious with it, unlike The Situation. His appeal is his style. It doesn’t hurt that he’s a DJ too.
“I would send her a picture of my dick in a pack of bubblegum & say ‘chew on this’.”
Ronnie, contrary to how the season started, is the only guy in the house that sealed a relationship with Sammie, one of the female room-mates. In more than a handful of episodes, Ronnie demonstrates his machismo attitude by “fists meeting face” against those that are threatening his pack. His appeal? He’s a protector with a sensitive side and is clear on what’s right and wrong. Chick’s totally dig this in a guy, just be smart enough not to go to jail.
“Then there are some girls that are respectful, that you have to just actually treat like girls, human beings.”
And finally, we have Vinny. Vinny’s the youngest guy in the guido household yet seems to have the most sense when it comes to chicks and hooking up. He takes a much more cool, calm, and collected approach to girl chasing. If he clicks with a girl, cool. If not, no biggie. He’s of a “chill” mindset; a “roll with the punches” kinda’ guy, which for some girls, is all they’re looking for.
Now that we have the break-down here, these guys have their own variation of appeal factors that all lead them to a successful hook-up. The girls they hook-up with are direct products of the appeal they send off.
Having said that, knowing what kind of appeal you send off and what you’re attracted to can explain why you choose the people you date. This, in turn, can save you a lot of time and energy when getting ready for your next date.
End the Year with a BANG!
Posted by Tech Babe in PhoneFling on December 31, 2009
New Year’s eve brings the whore out in everyone. It’s the perfect excuse to shove your tongue down a stranger’s throat at the stroke of midnight without getting slapped (maybe). It’s also a perfect opportunity for one night stands. With all the boozing flowing through your veins, your thought process will be overly skewed and you might wake up in an unfamiliar place with a stranger next to you the next morning. Having said that, and while you are still in the right mind-set, get your New Year’s eve emergency kit ready to go! (AKA “Walk of Shame Kit.”)
Your NYE emergency kit should consist of the following:
- A pair of clean panties. Preferably a thong so it fits nicely in your purse. Girls only. Guys can go days.
- Dark sunglasses, unless you’re into doing the walk of shame with your head held high.
- Gum/breath-mints. Chances are you won’t be using your one night stand’s toothbrush.
- $75 – $100 in cash for that cab ride home or in the event you’re trying to ditch the sucker. Add an extra five dollars for your morning shot of espresso.
- Condoms–at least four. One to back up the one that broke, one to give to your friend, and the other for going another round.
- Lastly, a post-it note with two of your friend’s phone numbers on it. Technology has made it very difficult to memorize phone numbers anymore. Fold it up and tuck it in your shoe or purse. You’ll remember it’s there if you’re in a bind.
You’ll probably want to incorporate an overcoat with your NYE outfit in the event you lose your clothes. Well folks, that about wraps it up for the decade they call “The Noughties.” Speaking of “wrap,” be smart, be safe, keep it sexy and KEEP IT WRAPPED!
HAPPY WHORING and NEW YEAR!
(Also check out “Essential Supplies for Car Sex.“)
“PhoneShag Nominated for Dating Program of the Year”
Posted by Tech Babe in Featured articles, Latest, Mobile dating, PhoneFling on December 26, 2009
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